Communication…It’s Not Just About Talking.. February 27, 2008
“We all want, above all, to be heard - but not merely to be heard. We want to be understood - heard for what we think we are saying, for what we know we meant.” –Deborah Tannen (more…)
Are you too comfy?? February 20, 2008
Being with someone that you are able to share an amazing connection with is a privilege. Lately… perhaps it is just me, but, I have been hearing a lot about people getting “ too comfy” with their significant other. So I thought today I’d take a stab at this issue and see what I could conger up for ya!
So what exactly is this so called “comfort zone?’ What does it entail? Is it when you gain that o-so- famous comfort weight, or is it when we all together stop caring after a certain amount of time?
Personally I don’t understand why some just give up when it comes to trying to look good for the one you love. Yes, I am aware of obligations, and life itself getting into the way and feeling as if you don’t have the time to be the best you, you can be on an every day basis. Let me get this out there right now… I know no one is perfect, and looking great everyday, lets face it…is not going to happen. I am however wondering why some choose to give up all together. No effort. Nothing.
Being in a relationship with someone you love or really care for to me, is about always wanting to come off and look your best for them. Once you stop caring, doesn’t that say something about the situation you are in? Once you let go of your appearance in a relationship, have you started to dwindle from the relationship all together? HMMMM
My opinion. Excuses! Excuses! When you are in love with someone you should be able to be completely mentally and physically comfortable while still making them realize every single day why it is that they are so lucky to be with you!
The Past is called the Past for a reason … February 11, 2008
I have a problem. Why is it that whenever I seem to get into an argument with my boyfriend, I go right for the gut, with his past? Does he deserve it? No. Has he done anything during our relationship to make me believe that he would act unfaithful? No. Has he shown me anything other than that he might just possibly be the best person I have ever met? No. So why is it that I let the things that happened in his past affect our future?
When I snap out of what I call my “psycho girl storm” and realize exactly what I have just said.. I feel dumb. Everyone is entitled to their past, god knows I have mine. So why is it that I feel that I am the exception and that he should pay for his?
Sometimes I feel as if the words escape my mouth faster than I can catch them with the, “ Well you dated her and…”and the “You have no reason to talk Mr. I did this then.”
For the first time in my life I actually trust someone, and as you will begin to know me, that in itself is amazing to say the very least. So is this just my guards way of protecting itself? Is this some sort of defense mechanism that I am using?I know that when those words slip out, when I bring up things that have NOTHING to do with US what-so-ever that I am in turn, pushing him away, which is the last thing that I would ever want to happen.
So I suppose what I am trying to get at here is why do we, as females( I am directing this at you) do this? I know that I am not the only one who goes for that “button” if you will. I have been witness to fights between some of my closest of friends and their significant others when the past isn’t left where it belongs.
So …help! How do I stop bringing up things that happened in his past? Because I want to be his future? How do I stop myself from talking about things that are irrelevant in my relationship, and almost all the time, to the argument at hand. How do we get to the root of what we are really mad over, and begin focusing on those issues? How do we leave the past in the past, and move on with our futures?
February 11, 2008
” If anything could ever be this real forever, If anything could ever be this good again” - Foo Fighters
February 11, 2008
The way to love anything
is to realize that it might be lost.
- G. K. Chesterton -
Trust…The Key to a Healthy Beginning February 10, 2008
Trust- My father left when I was 15, my ex of three years cheated on me with a “dancer” ,someone I suppose would do the things I personally found morally questionable. I have never been one to let my guard down easily or to trust people and men in general at all. Which I am still to this day working on because I believe without it, we have nothing. Trust. Such a tiny word that holds an enormous amount of impact. In an instant whether we trust or not has the capability to define us as human beings. While searching around the internet, the topics regarding “trust” and relationships are endless and everyone’s thoughts are pretty much one in the same. Its simple with the issue of trust: If you don’t have it, it’s not going to work .
For some, like myself, this feat is a lot easier said than done. To let go of hardships that once crippled the trusting part of your human instincts, can take time, and an extreme amount of patience from the person you are involved with. For me, a year into a relationship, I am just now letting go of a lot of issues that for years I let hold me back from getting close to anyone.
According to Celeste Stewart a woman who writes on relationship issues and freelances occasionally to many internet magazines believes that “Essentially, trust is an expectancy that people can rely on others. Will he do what he says he will do? It takes time to build trust. As time goes by, a person’s integrity and consistency shows his trustworthiness”
However, as much as you and I might have struggled with issues of trust, I believe that it is in a way a two way street. If you want to be able to trust the one you love, you yourself have to embody a trustworthy person. In other words, you get what you give. In the end though.. Its better to trust and be let down, then to never have trusted at all.
Wayne and Renee: The art of living together February 8, 2008
An in depth interview with two young love birds who have determined that it was time to take their relationship to the next level: co-inhabiting . Stay tuned for this interesting interview!
