I blog on here sharing my opinions with those who will take the time to read it. I state my thoughts, my beliefs and my ideas that I feel to be true. I do not claim to be anything I am not. Make no mistake, I am not an expert.
For the record, I am 21 years old. I hold no degree in love 101 and I have never studied romance. I am in the process of earning my Bachelors in Radio/TV/Film and a Minor in Journalism. So I guess one could say that I am not a “professional” in the area in which I write.
That being said and out of the way, one of my strongest convictions is that we learn by experience. Hence why I feel I am at least qualified to write about love, relationships and all that crap that falls in between.
Why? Well…I will sum up my short sob story for you.
As far as men go in my life, until now I have never had a constant. No I am not a whore so get your mind out of the gutter. I just have never had one guy stick around when they were supposed to. My father didn’t leave when I was 3. Unfortunately I was 15 and I remember everything, well almost everything(It is amazing what the brain is capable of when bad things happen).
I never had that father that I was supposed to have, the one I always heard about. You know, the ones who are supposed to tell their daughters how wonderful they are, how no guy besides them is deserving, and that they can’t date until their 45. Nope never had that.
Don’t feel bad, because I don’t. I believe that some people are better left out of our lives if they weren’t ever capable of bringing any good into them. I doesn’t mean that the stereotype of fatherless girls doesn’t include and apply to me. As much as I would like to pretend that it didn’t bother me, of course it did, and a lot of the issues that I face, including trust, stem from my non -existent relationship my “Dad.”
Most of my revelations about life and love have come from this experience. I was forced to grow up a lot faster than most and through that, I am a strong person today.
My first real relationship lasted almost 4 years. A long time especially at that age. I thought I was set and no one out there at that time could tell me otherwise. But young love falls hard, and burns even faster. When he( I think mentioning his name would humiliate him, that and he doesn’t deserve any recognition) cheated on me out of nowhere, his true colors waved brightly over everything that had encompassed my life. He was over it, and I had no choice but to be over it too. I was never an idiot, but I was human, and it hurt like hell.
In between the relationship I am in now and my last boyfriend I was single for 3 years, kissed a couple frogs and really got to know myself. I believe that you truly can’t allow yourself to be loved by another person, until you really love yourself.
OK. You have my credentials and my little sob story. It is however why I feel I am suitable to write about these topics. Like I said I am not an expert I just have a lot of experience with relationships. So who else is out there?
Everyday I turn on the TV, and when they’re not debuting shows about paternity tests, you can bet that there will be some “love expert” on the tube telling us how to keep our men, how to know if he’s cheating, and how to know everything and anything from here to Switzerland about love, relationships and life.
I have always been taught to believe 90% of what you see and 10% of what you hear. So have you ever sat back and wondered who the hell is this? Who are these people claiming to know so much? Well so have I.
You now know who I am. I’ve told you everything, well most everything, but when was the last time these “experts” validated themselves to us? We deserve to know their crudentials. Right? I think so.
I’m sure they have written books, been on talk shows, and have talked till they’re blue in the face. That’s great and all, but,why? What makes them credible?
I have found some of the top advice givers, “love experts” if you will, and tried to see what I could come up with. What sets them apart from the rest? What gives them the right to publicly announce their expertise?
I spent some time finding 12 of the top love experts. People who have actually earned the right to say what they find to be true. In the Future, when you turn on the TV, or flip through your latest juicy magazine, don’t be afraid to question what you see.
ITS TEN P.M. DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR LOVE EXPERTS ARE?
1.)Jane Greer-author of Gridlock: Finding the Courage to Move On in Love, Work, and Life
Crudentials: Ph.D., couples therapist
2.)Laura Berman-author of The Passion Prescription
Crudentials: Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago
3.)Neil Clark Warren-author of Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons
Crudentials:founder of eHarmony.com
4.)David Wexler-author of When Good Men Behave Badly
Crudentials:Ph.D.,executive director of the Relationship Training Institute in San Diego
5.)John Gottman-author of 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
Crudentials:Ph.D.,cofounder of the Gottman Institute in Seattle
6.)Michele Weiner-Davis-author of The Sex-Starved Marriage
Crudentials:couples therapist
7.)Scott Haltzman-author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men
Crudentials-M.D., psychiatrist
8.)Norman Epstein-Ph.D., marriage researcher and family therapist at the University of Maryland
9.)Tina B. Tessina-author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free
Crudentials:Ph.D., couples therapist
10.)Ian Kerner-author of She Comes First and He Comes Next
Crudentials:Ph.D., sex therapist
11.)Harville Hendrix-founder/director of Imago Relationships International and author of Getting the Love You Want
Crudentials:Ph.D.
12.)Barbara Dafoe Whitehead-co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University
Crudentials:Ph.D.
People should read this.