Is Chivalry Dead? March 25, 2008

The reason why my Mom was so fond of my boyfriend to begin with was that he was what she called, “different for men these days.” He came to the door, in a sports jacket, flower in hand (fake from 7/11..don’t burst my bubble), he opened the car door, and he waited till I was in the door till he pulled away. He was an old soul, something that neither she or I had seen in a long time. How sad right? What happened to men? Why does it seem that the latest trend is “being cool?” Where are all of the “Noah’s” of the world. For those of you who don’t know who a Noah is, watch “The Notebook”… just watch it. For those that have seen it, does it get much better? That is a true example of chivalry in the 40’s. Where in my opinion it was at its peak and hasn’t seen the light of day since.

Talking to some of the older women I work with it seems as though somewhere in the last 20-30 years men have gone from meeting the parents, coming to front doors and shaking hands to honking in the driveway and speeding off before one barely gets their foot in the god damn door.

All one has to do today is mention the word chivalry and three key words come to mind. It is dead. I know that women have struggled for years now to become equals with men, but when, WHEN, did it become the social norm for the girl to pay on a date? I know that women are more than capable, but cmon now. Some things I believe, should still be in effect.

Women asking men out? Sure it shows a strong confident 21st century female, but this would heva never happened 20-30years ago.

Sometimes I feel as though women are hypocritical. I have been guilty of it as well. We want to be equals, but as soon as a guy pulls a move like asking a girl to spilt the check or not pulling out her chair, we are out of there before the bill comes, sharing every chival-less move with our girlfriends.

Call me old fashioned, not up to date, but I am a young women with an old soul. I believe in men asking women out, pulling out chairs, comming to doors, calling when they say they will and footing the bill. It doesn’t mean that, in any way shape or form, that I am not capable of doing these things on my own. They are just the little things that set a good man apart from the rest of the breed. The man our grandmother and mother would have expected and wanted us to date. Shouldn’t we want that for ourselves?

Are mother’s still raising their boys this way? I know my mother is.

I know I will get comments telling me I’m a man hater. This couldn’t be further from the case either. The reason I write this is after all of my past relationships. Now that I have found someone with all of the quailties my mom used to tell me to look for, I began realizing that the guys I used to date, didn’t have an ounce of chivarly in their pinky toe. What was worse is that back then, I didn’t even think anything was wrong with this. Young women my age (21-and older) seem to underestimate what they deserve and are becomming numb to the ways of men these days. Ways that should not be, in my opinion, a social norm.

I hope that by writing this someone will read this and realize that yes, times are different, but not everything has to change. There is a reason why today 50% of marriages fail, and yet our grandparents are still married. Maybe they knew something that we didn’t? Perhaps our grandfathers pulled out a couple of chairs in their day.

Chivalry Today which is an online website designated to this arcahic noble trait gives a definition that I feel is really fitting. Perhaps after reading this and understanding the exact definition some guy out there will be inspired and pass it on. Lets hope:

Today, we’re not too different from those knights in the Middle Ages we have a great deal of wealth and resources and freedom at our disposal, and we can use (or misuse) them in nearly any way we like.

Perhaps that’s why people are finding the concept of chivalry so relevant to modern life. Perhaps, like those knights in shining armor hundreds of years ago, we want to experience the satisfaction of knowing that we have championed the right causes and embraced the right principles, not because we were told to do so, but simply because we have chosen to follow that path.

In short, that’s what chivalry is a choice. The choice to do the right things, for the right reasons, at the right times. And that’s a definition that even your social studies teacher probably would have approved of.(courtesy of Civalry Today.com)

This is the trailer from the movie “The Notebook”… It doesn’t do it any justice. Chivalry… at it’s best.. Rent it.