Long Distance: Only The Strong Survive. April 29, 2008

I was watching, “True Life: I’m in A Long Distance Relationship,” on MTV yesterday, and it got me thinking. At what point does distance stop making the heart grow fonder? When does being apart start to take a toll on two people?

It is 2008. We are all so independent. We work, we go to school, we have to socialize to define ourselves, and often it takes away from the one thing we really need at the end of the day. Our relationships.

Can long distance relationships work? I don’t have the answer to that. The longest I go without seeing my other half is Mon-Wed, and let me tell you, it’s horrible. How do people who live months without seeing each other make it work?

I am a college student, like so many of us out there. It has been the best and the hardest time of my life. When I was single, I did what I wanted when I wanted. Now, I still do what I want, but there is always someone else in my head. His feelings and how he would like to be treated. So many of us are away from our relationship while at school. Some much worse than I, and I feel silly complaining about 3 days. However if I feel the separation, how are those who separate for weeks or months dealing with the strain?

According to Simona Kogan, who is the Features Editor for The Daily Targum, which serves the Rutgers community, “Author Thomas Haynes Bayley once said, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Did Bayley know what it meant to be in a long-distance relationship during college? Probably not. However, even if he had, the trials and tribulations of having a relationship when you are not located near the one you love never gets easier. Whether or not absence makes the heart grow fonder, many university students are dealing with the issue. According to The Journal of College Student Development, more than one-in-four of the 9 million college students in the United States are in long-distance relationships during their four years of college - that is, one partner does not go to the same college or live in the same town as their significant other.”

More than one-in-four! It makes me wonder. How many students let their grades suffer, or lose sleep while their paying their way through school, because they are apart from their loved one? How many relationships survive college? How can a relationship last when two people can not see each other?

“Distance can make the heart grow fonder”, but maybe, for those of you out there dealing with extreme distance, “Too much distance can make the heart…wander.” Sorry for the cliche, but is it true?

I hope that those out there in a long distance relationship do what they feel is right for them. Love is a great and powerful thing. If you find it, try your hardest to make it work, because there are some that are never lucky enough to stumble across the real thing.

I believe, even though I have only experienced a tiny degree of separation, that perhaps, it is worth it.  Maybe being with someone is the one thing we all hold on to that keeps us going. Long distance relationships, they’re not for the weak. Only the strong survive.
Good Luck!