Where Did My Friends Go?

When I first started dating my boyfriend, after a 3 year hiatus from men, my life took a drastic change. Of course for me, it was for the better, but for some of my friends, they didn’t exactly feel the same way.

I was finally happy,and had found the guy for me. So why was it that some of my girlfriends were having such a hard time adjusting? I was getting the whole, “Well you never come out anymore because of him” crap, and to tell you the truth it was really starting to get to me.

Didn’t I deserve to be happy too? Was I supposed to stay single to keep my girlfriends? Was I always going to let others determine how I lived my life? And why aren’t they happy for me?

What was supposed to be the best time in my life, was turning into one of the hardest and for a long time I felt completely torn. I was hurt. I wanted nothing more than for my girlfriends to support my choices.

I was always the friend that was there for everyone, whenever, any day any time, and now that I had a different priority in my life, it was like I was no longer the same person to some of them. It couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

I was still me. Still wanted to do all the things I used to. They just didn’t think so. And what made it even worse, was that they didn’t even take the time to realize it. They had their mind made up for me.I realized one morning that I couldn’t live like this anymore. It was causing sleepless nights and anxiety like you would not believe. I was better than this ya know? I didn’t deserve this cold shoulder treatment anymore. It had to change. I have always believed that you are the only person who can control your emotions and that no one other than yourself has the power to control how you feel. That being said, I needed to take my life back, and do me for a change. Worry about what I wanted, what was good for me, and what made my life, my life.

I stopped caring, stopped worrying about what they thought of my relationship and let go. Lost some people along the way, but I was finally free. I was happy again, and most importantly, for the first time in my life I had done something that was right for me. I could breath again.

My friends mean the absolute world to me, but so does my boyfriend. I decided that those who were my true friends, would understand that. I found out who were my real friends, who wanted what was best for me, and who were happy just because I was happy.

I have spoken to lots of people about this issue. It doesn’t just happen to girls, guys deal with grief from their “bros” as well. Maybe even more so. I know my boyfriend has gotten the old, ” What are you married now?” and the “Your whipped” bull from his friends. He handled it better than me, and guys, well, they just let things go a lot easier than girls I think.

It took a while for me to realize something that I should have known since the get go. If your dealing with a similar situation take a minute to think. Your friends should be people who are there for you, when you don’t go out all the time, when you do go out all the time, when your happy, when your mad, when your a bitch, and when your not, simply because. Just because.

In the end, people came around, because I stuck to my guns. Following my heart and finding my true friends. Nice.